you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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