how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
