3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
