Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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