It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
