The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
