Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
