big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
