exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize