my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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