Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
