You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
time to smoke my breakfast
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
