This is not my ceiling
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
