Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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