Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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