Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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