my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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