I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
