For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
