So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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