broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
