I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
