if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
