I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
