can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
