Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are