I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if only i could text you this smell
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just wanna be euthanized
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know