I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need to calm my uterus...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
