Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize