I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
