i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
