OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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