I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
