I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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