I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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