help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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