what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize