is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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