well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sorry about my life...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
