hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yo dont text me then not text me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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