They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
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I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
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