I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
