Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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