So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
