i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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