Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
babies were throwing up all over the place
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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