could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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