You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize