This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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