I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
