Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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