I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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