5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
