At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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