I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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