that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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