Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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