You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
