i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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