Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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