I'm going to jail i love you
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
