i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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