I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
