i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
