and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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